I want this guard dog!

So it would be VERY dangerous for me to possess a gun for protection....especially after a dozen or so Miller Lites. I already have 3 small dogs, yorkies nonetheless, which I know does not spark fear in possible intruders. so I want a big dog for security. Specifically, a Goldendoodle. A cross between a Golden Retriever and a Standard Poodle. Criminals around the world would definitely reconsider breaking and entering into my house at the sight of this beast.

I want a reason to wear this dress!

I have NEVER liked a white poofy dress...not even for a bride! But this is RIDICULOUS! SJP looks like a very fashionista tooth fairy and I love love love it! It makes me want to pull every tooth out of my head just to see it in person. BUT.....the sad reality is only she can pull this off-If I wore this, it would be more reminiscent of a Marshmellow fairy if there is such a thing....

I want this dress!

Ok, so Serena Van Der Woodsen's character on Gossip Girl wears BADASS outfits! This dress is Ralph Lauren and absolutely spectacular. I would wear it out one nite and say I went to a wedding when I really didnt. Gorgeous....throw in a Chuck Bass as arm candy and I'm set!

I want this weinie dog!

So I want a weinie dog named Richard. I want to take him to the park and say things like....."Bad Dick!" or "Come Dick Come!" I would NEVER take off his Satan costume and would send out invitations for my churches Blessing of the Animals service. Also, I would engage the preacher in a discussion about why Satan would ascend to earth in the form of a dachshund.