I want this guard dog!

So it would be VERY dangerous for me to possess a gun for protection....especially after a dozen or so Miller Lites. I already have 3 small dogs, yorkies nonetheless, which I know does not spark fear in possible intruders. so I want a big dog for security. Specifically, a Goldendoodle. A cross between a Golden Retriever and a Standard Poodle. Criminals around the world would definitely reconsider breaking and entering into my house at the sight of this beast.

I want a reason to wear this dress!

I have NEVER liked a white poofy dress...not even for a bride! But this is RIDICULOUS! SJP looks like a very fashionista tooth fairy and I love love love it! It makes me want to pull every tooth out of my head just to see it in person. BUT.....the sad reality is only she can pull this off-If I wore this, it would be more reminiscent of a Marshmellow fairy if there is such a thing....

I want this dress!

Ok, so Serena Van Der Woodsen's character on Gossip Girl wears BADASS outfits! This dress is Ralph Lauren and absolutely spectacular. I would wear it out one nite and say I went to a wedding when I really didnt. Gorgeous....throw in a Chuck Bass as arm candy and I'm set!

I want this weinie dog!

So I want a weinie dog named Richard. I want to take him to the park and say things like....."Bad Dick!" or "Come Dick Come!" I would NEVER take off his Satan costume and would send out invitations for my churches Blessing of the Animals service. Also, I would engage the preacher in a discussion about why Satan would ascend to earth in the form of a dachshund.

I want this hybrid dog-chicken!

Why?? Look at it....NO ONE would dare eat a chicken as cute as this! It has to be a cross between some fuzzy white dog like a maltese and albino Big Bird. Crazy what scientists can create in labs these days.

I want....well, use your imagination ; )

Why?? Are you serious?! Not only is Sawyer droolicious, he hails from GA, has a gorgeous hick accent, and has a thing for non-lookers (google wife Yessica's photo). This was obviously done before he scored the gig on LOST when he was unemployed and trying to get his real estate license. It's ok Sawyer...we are all allowed to slum it once in a while. Just don't let it happen again.

I want to be friends with this anteater!

Why?? Because he is a badass, knows it, and makes no apologies for it. He is an endangered species for goodness sake!

I want these ALL THE TIME!!!

Ok, so I admit I have an addiction. I LOVE sushi and spend way too much money on it. As a matter of fact, I could buy the baby aardvark and pygmy goats if I could give it up. But I am not gonna. Bring on the mercury poisoning...I DONT CARE! And as for you, edamame, I seriously hope you are not fattening though I do make you unhealthy by pouring mounds of delicious salt on you. Some people have crack and heroin....I have Inakaya.

I want this Tiffany's necklace!

Why? Why the hell not?? It's simple, elegant, and it's from Tiffany's!! It WILL be mine.....enough said.

I want a baby pygmy goat!!

Why?? Because then I don't have to buy a lawnmower, they can keep the aardvark company, it would completely piss off the neighborhood association AND they are freakin cute!

I want this baby aardvark!

Why?? Because I have never seen one before and I bet no one else has one. I would get one of those designer pet carriers and take him everywhere. And when he gets too big, I would put him in the backyard with the pygmy goats.